Have You Considered Your Ripple Effect?
Meet my friend Kelsey! We first met in Paris running with an international group. She was new to the city and we quickly bonded over connections to North Carolina, art, the growing interest in non-alcoholic beverages and my crazy story of winemaker to sobriety coach. She signed up for my newsletter and we made a date for coffee.
It didn’t work out that morning to meet -- and we ran out of time to reschedule until later that fall in 2024. We hadn't connected since then. So I was thrilled...flattered!...to get a message from her recently, inviting me to coffee after not seeing each other for a year and a half.
We met at a new favorite spot. We chatted about daily life. And then she said, "That's the perfect segue to tell you about a big development that I wanted to share. That day that I missed our coffee date...it was because I was hungover. I thought about that so much. And I wanted to be able to tell you in person, that I'm one year and three months sober. I feel so amazing. And I’m really grateful to you.”
I grabbed both her hands across the table. And we both choked back big tears. I can easily cry just thinking about this moment.
She told me how my work and newsletter had been an inspiration and that her own journey has influenced at least six other people around her. Most importantly, she told me that she is having the time of her life, doubling down on nightlife by going to all-night raves once a month in various cities in Europe put on by a particular DJ collective out of Berlin. For her, it's energizing, empowering, cathartic and life-affirming! She told me that she actually feels way more attractive and attuned going out like this alcohol-free. I asked her to please take me with her to the next one!
And I was ready to end the blog post here. But the story was about to get even more fun!! Because….we DID do exactly what we said we wanted to do (which is an amazing side effect of being AF!) YES, we hit the club two nights ago — outdoors…under a bridge…on the outskirts of Paris — we didn’t stop moving for 6+ hours, we danced to the techno music, we met people, we both got asked out, we laughed on the metro ride home about some of the characters and stories from the night, and I got home just before 7 am…smelling the scent of freshly baked croissants as I walked past multiple bakeries on my way home!!
Honestly?! It was thrilling on many counts, with many layers. Pulling an all-nighter?! Getting past the voice in your head (I’m too old, I can’t party like that without a drug, I’ll look like a fool, I’d just rather sleep etc)?? Getting real dopamine through novelty and connection and music and movement? Feeling like you’ve passed an endurance test and bonded with a new friend? Putting to the test a hypothesis that we CAN feel more attractive and more fun while sober? I could go on at length with insights and my anthropological observations from a rave in Paris. I’ll leave it to another post.
For now, I want to thank Kelsey! And thank my sobriety for gifts that keep giving and that allow me to discover additional aspects of who I am and what I value.
THIS is what is completely missed and misunderstood in all the articles we read about whether alcohol does help the heart or not, or articles with "experts" saying that younger generations are not going out enough and they should drink more or else they'll be lonely! What?! That's not what I see from my vantage point and experience. I see younger generations being wiling to question the status quo and being much more discerning about what does and doesn't make them feel good! I see this generation and also my typical client feeling MORE alive and engaged with life after giving up alcohol, not less! Kelsey didn't go AF to be trendy! She just didn't feel like she was acting in alignment with who she wanted to be. And she's sticking with being AF because she feels amazing!
She’s an inspiration to ME! To be this open and discerning at the age of 34?! Fabulous! To take the time to share that I was an inspiration?! Super thoughtful and has given me fuel to keep writing the newsletter that I’ve been writing for almost 7 years! And for her to take someone my age under her wing to a rave?! Pure badass!
YOU are influencing the people around you too!
I have more of these stories…a friend from church who, while on a hike, let me share what I was learning when I was first getting certified and who because of that hasn’t had a drink now in seven years; an acquaintance who quit after reading an article about me in our neighborhood paper; even AirBnB guests who simply asked why I had so many non-alcoholic beverages in the house and then told me a year later that they had completely reined in their drinking.
These are people impacted that I didn’t even coach!
And I owe all this to several people who inspired my questioning, especially a neighbor named Lisa! I was so intrigued that she ordered an NA beverage when we met up at the women-owned distillery around the corner for a drink and she later directed me to the work of Annie Grace.
Who might your journey impact? Who will feel permission to question alcohol and the status quo because you are? Even if you’re still on the journey? Please let me know in the comments or by emailing me. And if you think my newsletter or website might be of interest to someone you know, feel free to pass it on! xo
