The 2 Key Follow-Up Steps To Dry January (that most people skip)

Are you among the 1 in 5 American adults who participated in a dry…or dryish….January? If you are, I want to add my congratulations and high-fives!!

And I want to share the two (quick) extra things you can do to make your Dry January exponentially more meaningful! These are steps that most people don’t do. I know that I didn’t do them, a few years in a row when I gave up alcohol for Lent. And because I didn’t do them, I wasn’t able to make the changes that I wanted in my relationship with alcohol.

The first step is to celebrate what you did! And I don’t mean only for people who remained alcohol-free all 31 days! No matter the percentage of days you achieved, you were 100% successful in being curious enough to ask a question like, “How might I feel if I reduce or stop drinking for a month?” Celebrate being the rock star that you are! We’re wired to want to be part of the herd, so doing anything that feels like going against the herd, especially drinking alcohol which is not only normalized in our culture but glorified, well…it’s courageous. Counter-culture. Rebellious even!!

Why celebrate? We need to double-down on celebrating when we do something brave, interesting or out of the norm. In some ways our brains come with an old operating system that evolved for a world very different from the one we live in. Our brains evolved to always be scanning for danger. That means we have a built-in negativity bias that harps on what could go wrong and we critique ourselves for our mistakes. We can compensate by doubling down on celebrating all the things that go right, and all the risks and efforts we DO take!

So does part of your brain tell you that taking a month off of alcohol is nothing to celebrate? If you choose to celebrate it, does that indicate to yourself or others that you have “a problem?” Or is your brain resisting celebrating because you think you didn’t do it well enough or get it “right?”

Taking a month off of drinking, in a culture that is obsessed with alcohol, is worthy of celebration, no matter the number of days you did! What you’re celebrating is that you were willing to QUESTION something! You pushed yourself outside of your comfort zone and got curious, and challenged the status quo. It’s not about perfection (it never is). It’s about progress. We’re celebrating that we took action and made progress.

How to celebrate? Tell someone you love and trust that you feel proud of what you did (remember, it’s not about days, it’s about curiosity!). Tell yourself that you’re proud. Write it in your journal. Play a celebratory playlist. Did you promise yourself a (non-alcohol) reward? Then please, follow through and get yourself that reward! (I would promise myself new workout clothes or a facial and then not follow through. That’s a weird message for a brain!).

Now that you’ve celebrated, the final and most important part of Dry January is…the Debrief! Get out a journal and pen. Try to get in a state of pure curiosity (self-judgement takes a back-seat when curiosity is in the house). And invite your sense of humor too to this debriefing party. Now write out answers to some questions like, what did I notice during this alcohol-free experiment? Honestly, how did I feel on the days/nights that I did not drink? How long did cravings really last…hours or minutes? If I drank, what were my thoughts right before drinking? What feeling was I looking for? Did drinking deliver what my brain promised it would? Did my brain tell me that drinking would dramatically improve the night/the event? And did it?

Our brains have stories about alcohol…some that we’ve inherited, some that we’ve created and retold again and again. Stories such as I need alcohol to decompress. I can’t be creative without alcohol. I’m not fun without alcohol. As long as we are unaware of those stories or don’t challenge them, they will endure and make changing our relationship with alcohol very difficult. Your curiosity, humor and self-compassion are your tools to help uncover and challenge those stories.

Congratulations on your month, your curiosity, and for this extra effort to squeeze all the juicy data out of the experience!!

(Of course, any month or day is a great time to embark on your own curiosity and compassion-driven Alcohol Experiment! Here is a link to the free one that totally did the trick for me.)